I put my baby in another room so I wouldn’t be disturbed by her sleeping noises. I moved my mattress downstairs to sleep under the aircon on full blast. I convinced myself I couldn’t sleep in a room warmer than 21C. The first time that baby slept for five hours straight – guess who was wide awake? Me! How ironic!!! My Dr prescribed me more sleep meds and told me to meditate before bed.Īnd yet as baby’s sleep improved over the weeks, my own sleep got worse and worse. It also didn’t help that my postpartum hormones was firing constantly, giving me waves of anxiety attacks and hot flushes all through the night.Įventually the act of lying down and closing my eyes would trigger the anxiety. When she finally did go to sleep, I lay awake, feeling like I couldn’t switch off, terrified of what was happening to me. I was absolutely exhausted, but my circadian rhythm had been completely thrown off by my baby’s erratic sleep cycle. They prescribed some strong sleeping pills and left. They assured me that I wasn’t psychotic, but told me that I HAD TO sleep. The crisis mental health team was called. I thought I had become psychotic because I was constantly hallucinating and feeling detached from reality. I had a mental health crisis from the sleep deprivation. My baby kept me up at night for nearly 9 days straight. So I dreaded sleepovers and school camps.īut I slept fine as long as I slept alone.įast forward a few years. For some reason, I just could not sleep soundly if I shared the room with other people. Growing up I always had a little bit of sleep anxiety. I just want to share my journey with insomnia and how I am sleeping well again.
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